Samurai Jack is a very cool show. I’m so impressed by the artistic skill needed to create every aspect of the show that I want to create a shrine to Genndy Tartakovsky, where I’ll burn Crayola Candles and sacrifice bootleg copies of PhotoShop in the hopes of gaining his favor. Everything from the character design to the sound effects to the voice acting is phenomenal. Hell, even the backgrounds are more impressive than almost any other cartoon I’ve seen lately. In it’s own way, Samurai Jack impresses me more than Final Fantasy or Shrek did when I saw them in the theater.

Since it impressed me so much I decided to create a desktop wallpaper design that would commemorate my induction into the Samurai Jack Loser Fan Club of the Greater North Eastern Section of The Land Mass Known as ‘Merica. The wallpaper can be found here. If you’ll look to the right of your screen there’s a good chance you’ll see a brand new link in the ‘Mighty Media’ column called coincidentally enough, Wallpaper. It is my plan to add new wallpaper to my site every month, but when you’re busy like I am it’s hard to make the time for these fun little side projects. And just in case you’re wondering, whether I’m busy or not, I can always find a good reason not to do something. It doesn’t even matter if it’s something I want to do, I’ll still find some way to not do it.

It’s a skill I’ve been developing since I was but a wee child and I’ve gotten good at it. Very Good.

Right now, I’m attempting to perfect my abilities as a loser by watching Automan on SciFi. If you don’t remember this little gem of early eighties crap television then you are very, very fortunate. It sucked then and it sucks now. In fact, it sucks even more now because I’m older and know the difference between your average sucky TV show like Dawson’s Creek and a complete suckfest like Automan. If anyone should ever ask you to name the most sucky TV show ever made the first thing to come to your mind should be Automan.

My god, it sucks.

On a lighter note, I had a great Saturday of shopping at an outlet mall with my girlfriend and then going to my friend Sleepy’s rooftop party. Here’s a little tip for all the city drivers out there, when going shopping in another state do your best to leave the mall early. Doing so will help you avoid traffic that can make even the calmest of Geeks cranky and lead to saying bad things to your girlfriend that will cause a marked decrease in your Sweet Lovin’ quotient.

Note to Self :: When girlfriend asks whether an article of clothing makes her look fat, do not reply with “I don’t think it’s the clothes, honey.”

The party that night was great. A whole bunch of people showed up and we all danced the night away on Sleepy’s roof that just happens to have a terrific, beautiful and completely unobstructed view of the city. My girlfriend would leave me in a flash if she could get that view. I know, she told me. All friggen night. Hell, it’s all good cause I’d sell her for a chance of having that view.

She knows, I told her.

Here’s a little tip from the Geek to you. Remember that when at a party, babies and dogs should be kept far away from the party dip. I never knew this but babies seem to be notorious for putting their slimy, dirty, filthy little hands into anything that even looks like it might be soft and mushy, and dogs just follow the little brats around eating everything they drop. At one point in the party, I looked down and saw the dog standing on top of one of the little snack tables eating a slice of pizza someone had left there. The kid was spooning tiny handfuls of dip onto the pizza as encouragement for the mutt. If I had my camera at that point I would have taken a picture, but I was too busy shaking my groove thing on the dance floor.

Oh yeah, baby. Travolta, eat your heart out.

When I was young (before the wheel, but after fire) my brother and I had some of the coolest toys on the planet. I’m talking about Micronauts here. As in “The interchangeable world of”. We used to sit and play for hours with these things, shooting each other with the little, tiny, choking hazard missiles. Trust me, they were choking hazards. Ask my brother about the Star Wars Falcon in the Cave Reenactment Fiasco of 78′ and watch his eyes go very round and white. Of course, this was before the warnings were put on the boxes so no one thought twice about handing toys with small plastic pieces that could be shot with great force at the press of a button to kids.

Anyway, it was my birthday a while ago and my bro finally gave me my presents last night. Yeah, he’s a little slow sometimes. Anywaste, somehow, somewhere he found the ORIGINAL figures for Giant Acroyear and the Micronaut Battle Cruiser in the ORIGINAL boxes! The figures even had the original stickers, still un-applied, in the box. I’m a collector of silly and stupid things so to say I was happy is a slight understatement. I almost stopped the Magic: The Gathering game I was playing to put them together and play with them. Then I thought better of it and carefully put them back in their boxes and have since stored them in a cool, dry place out of direct sunlight. What can I say? I’m a Geek.

But for today at least, my brother is very cool.

This is it. I’m at the point where I’ve run out of major tweaks and feel like this site is ready for “Prime Time”. That’s tech-speak for “going live”. There are still a few minor tweaks here and there to take care of, some more graphics to make and I still need to create a store where you’ll be able to purchase Mighty Geek paraphernalia at outrageous prices, but for the most part this site is done.

So come on in, look around, grab a brew and sit down by the fire. Dinner’s at 7:30, Bingo starts at 9:00, and everyone who plays is a winner.

The Mighty Geek is now open. Welcome.

Officially, this site still isn’t ‘live’, but I still feel compelled to write something every now and again. I have nothing to say really, I just have a need to let the world know I’m still alive and no amount of pepper spray will keep me away. Well, since you’re here reading this, I guess I might as well update you on the progress I’m making on this site.

Uh, how does very little sound?

It’s not that I haven’t been trying desperately to get this site ready for it’s official launch, which was the end of June but hey, it’s the thought that counts. It’s just that I seem to be thwarted at almost every turn by my archenemy, Laziness. To be fair, my doing actual work on this site is pretty far-fetched since I am an Olympic Level Lazy-Assed Bastard and have won numerous awards both nationally and internationally for my Herculean abilities in the area of Human Laziness.

Remote control wrestling? Gold medal.

Sleep Marathon? Two gold, one silver and a host of bronze.

Looking busy while having nothing to do? World Champion.

Faced with this level of anti-athletic ability, it’s a wonder that I’ve gotten this far at all.

Excerpt from a (slightly embellished) telephone conversation;

Client :: “Hi Geek, it’s Client. How are you?”

Geek :: “Hi Client! I’m fine how’ve you been?”

Client :: “Good, good. Sorry I haven’t called in a while but now that I have I was wondering what your schedule looked like.”

Geek :: “My schedule? For when?”

Client :: “How about this afternoon? I need someone to do some graphic work. It’s easy stuff and it should only be for a couple of hours.”

Little Voice in Geek’s Head :: “Run! Run far, run fast, but RUN!”

Geek :: “I think I can make it this afternoon. How does 2pm sound?”

Client :: “Great! Bring a computer with you.”

Little Voice :: “Here it comes.”

Geek :: “You need my computer? Uh, how big is this job?”

Client :: “Well, actually we’re creating a pitch for the business of (really big company). They’re looking for a new PR firm and we made the second cut. We need an entire multimedia presentation by 8:00 tomorrow morning. Be here by noon. Bye!”

Little Voice :: “You poor, stupid fool.”

Geek :: “Someone kill me.”

Although no one did manage to kill me, it wasn’t for lack of trying.

Well, I’m finally done with my “real world” work and am finally able to get back to work on this site. It’s been a few months since I’ve been able to work on this site and unfortunately, I’ve forgotten almost everything I did and am just now going back and looking over my code. Let my misfortune be a lesson for all of you hopeful Geeks out there. When writing code, use lots and lots of comments to explain things to anyone that might come along and look at it later. Going over code (even code you wrote your own damn self) even a couple of months later can be confusing as hell if you don’t have a ‘roadmap’ to follow.

Right now I’m working on stuff that no one but me will ever notice. Things like; integrating GreyMatter properly, resizing the layout to work better independently of your browser or screen resolution, the Daily Geek Archives and a few other things. I know none of this is exciting or interesting to those tiny few who are coming here looking for content, but sooner or later I’ll be satisfied enough with the back end of this site to finally start putting up the content.

Other than that, nothing much to say just yet. I want to get this site up and running before I start with my usual rants, raves and long-winded stories of mundane mediocrity blown up into historically inaccurate delusions of grandeur.