I hate today.

Today really sucks. I don’t care how many other people in the world are happy because I know I’m right when I say that today is the suckiest day in the history of sucky days. It’s such a sucky day that it defies the laws of physics and common sense by somehow both sucking and blowing at the same time.

If this day had a name, it would be Sir Sucky McSucksuck. The Third.

In case you didn’t know already, today is the day that Halo 2 is being released. I had my copy reserved since September of LAST FRICKING YEAR, that’s 2003 people, and yet I do not have a copy of this, the most fabulous of… uhm… fabulous-y? games in my hot little hands. And, according to the packing and shipping demons at Amazon, my copy won’t be shipped until the end of DECEMBER! DECEMBER!

I can’t… They won’t… I just… The… AAARGH!

So, now I’m forced to call those I know who actually stood on line at stores that opened at midnight for a Halo 2 Midnite Madness Super Sale and ask them to describe the game to me. In lurid detail. Over the phone! I’m going to feel like some sicko who calls those phone sex hotlines, you know?

“Oooo, tell me about polygon count! Describe Cortana! Is she hot? Shoot two guns at the same time and hold the phone to the TV speaker so I can hear it! Is that the sound of a rocket launcher? Oh god, I think I wet my pants…”

If I had any pride left I think I’d weep in shame…

It’s been a tough weekend.

On Thursday GeekHaus suffered a blow that would have brought other, less adaptable, households to their knees. And although the forces of evil did their worst, we did not falter in our efforts to thwart their attack and continue our sworn mission to bring Geekiness to all the peoples of the world. So when, on a day that shall be forever known as Dark Thursday, the army of Chaos caused us to lose that which we so desperately loved, our cable modem, we did what every Geek family has done since the beginning of recorded time.

We complained. Loudly.

And so it came to pass that on Tuesday, a day that shall forever after be known as Victoria (because it sounds nice and makes us feel all funny inside), order was restored to the world in the form of a working cable modem in the GeekHaus. And there was great rejoicing.

And now for something completely different.

Today in America is Election Day. If you’re American and you have not yet voted then stop reading this, get off your butt and get out there and vote! I don’t really care who you vote for, just do you duty and vote for someone. Hell, if you don’t like anybody on the tickets write in someone you do like. John Stewart, Pete Rose, Woody Woodpecker… anybody, because if you don’t vote then you have absolutely NO FRICKING RIGHT to ever complain about, give praise to, or be proud/despondent about the people in office.

And now it’s time for Election Day TV and Whoppers.

I need new underwear.

Just a little while ago, as I was sitting on the toilet, I happened to glance down and noticed that my tighty-whities had a hole in them about the size of a quarter. Right in the middle of the butt. One might think it a little strange for me not to notice a hole like that when I first put them on this morning but really, I don’t think anyone reading this Blog is all that surprised.

Especially since we’re talking about me.

Anywaste, after bowing my head in shame for a bit, I decided my best chance for redemption was to simply go to my stash of clean underwear and change into a non-holey pair. Unfortunately, since I am still living out of suitcases and plastic covered boxes, the only other clean underwear I could find also had holes in them.

Big, gaping, I’m-under-attack-by-killer-moths holes.

So now I’m thinking about going out and buying some new underwear except that if I do buy new underwear HoBiscuit will want to buy herself some new clothes and by the time we’re done shopping we’ll need a new apartment just for all our new clothes and we won’t be able to pay for the kitchen remodeling we’re doing in this apartment. It’s a conundrum, alright, and I’m paralyzed with indecision, because wearing holey underwear feels wrong but going commando makes me feel all flippy-floppy. So I’m having an internal debate over whether I should buy more tighty-whities or if I should go with the newfangled fitted boxer-briefs I’ve seen in the stores, because even though I like boxers I just don’t think I could handle that much freedom.

Hey, what’s with all the gagging?

Life is very hectic right now.

I know I promised you some pictures earlier this week, but I have a really good excuse as to why I didn’t post them or even post anything until today. No, really. I do. I’m not kidding. Seriously. Wait; just stop rolling your eyes and listen, ok? And no, this time radioactive squirrels are not involved, although I don’t see why you didn’t believe me last time when I told you they had sneaked into my apartment at night and scotch-taped my eyes shut so I couldn’t see and thus couldn’t post anything.

It took me hours to figure out I wasn’t really blind.

Well, this time I’m afraid my reasons are a bit more mundane. You see, work suddenly picked up and then got crazy. Really, really crazy. As in working for 18 hours straight for three days in a row, crazy. And, just when we thought we were almost done with the kitchen, the contractor doing the work just stopped showing up. Don’t worry though, he’s back and working again now, but I guess he decided he needed a few days rest before tackling the hardest part of the remodeling work.

You know, like actually doing something.

Anywaste, I’m being forced to travel for the next week for work so this Blog will once again go stagnant until I return, unless these four guest writers decide to say something while I’m away. (hint, hint) I plan on returning FULL FORCE on Monday, October 11th with all new stories to entertain all of my faithful visitors. Even better, sometime before the new year I will be doing some major remodeling right here on The Mighty Geek. And have no fear; I promise I won’t be using the contractors who are currently destroying my kitchen when I redesign TMG. So stay tuned true believers, the GeekMan you’ve all come to know, loathe, pity and despise will return.

And maybe this time someone will notice.

I’m moving.

And since I’m moving I’m not going to be able to update as often as I would like so, for the first time ever, I’m handing over the keys to TMG to some friends of mine. They’ll be trying to keep all three of my visitors from abandoning me during my absence. And hopefully they’ll be more entertaining than I’ve ever been and everyone will come back to visit TMG even after I take over again.

But I’m not holding my breath.

Anywaste, I hope everyone has a wonderful two weeks while I’m offline. I’ll be back on Septemeber 7th with what I’m sure will be a boatload of new and funny stories to tell about moving, kitchen remodeling, contractors, family and, lest we forget, my brother’s wedding.

Have fun kids!
GeekMan

P.S. – Bread’s betting that TMG will get more visitors while I’m away than I’ve ever gotten before which will only prove to the world just how big a loser I really am.

…

Crap. I think he’s right.