Announcements

Fixing The Fixes

• by GeekMan • In Breaking News •   3

Riddles within conundrums, Batman.

This site might be all new and improved behind the scenes, but from where you’re sitting I bet it looks pretty much the same. Well, aside from the stupid question mark diamonds all over my archived posts. If you’re wondering what those question mark diamonds are, well… so was I. But after a teeny-tiny bit of research I’m no longer wondering.

Instead, I’m frustrated and angry.

You see, it turns out that when the backend of this site was updated to my new and improved blogging software the text encoding of my posts changed from ISO-8859-1 to utf-8 which caused some individual character substitutions due to inherent differences between the two disparate encoded character sets.

What you talking about, GeekMan?

Basically, due to the differences in how my new versus old blogging software, any of my old posts that contained quotation marks, apostrophes, ellipses, or other special characters, will now display the question-mark-diamond instead of the quotation marks, apostrophes, ellipses, or other special characters.

Sucks to be me, huh?

The easy way to fix this, of course, is to simply change the way my new software handles encoding my posts so that it matches the way my old software did it. In effect, change it from utf-8 to the old ISO-8859-1. But I like to be difficult, so I say nay to the simple, easy and effective way! Instead, I think I’ll try to find a way to change all my old posts from ISO-8859-1 to utf-8! And if I fail, well then, I’ll just cross that bridge when it floods.

BTW, anyone know where I can get a cheap inflatable boat?

We Can Do It, Together

• by GeekMan • In Breaking News •   4

Solonor is a cool guy.

Not only does he play a mean guitar, he also sings better than a drowning cat, is more handsome than Marty Feldman, is smarter than Gilligan and is sexier than Margaret Cho in a thong. I could go on complimenting him, but he might kill me if I do.

Did I mention how modest he is?

Anywaste, Solly (as his close, longtime, personal friends like me call him) was nice enough to help me out last night by doing some background work here on the site. In truth, he upgraded TMG from its aging blogging tool to a more up-to-date and modern tool for blogging. What does this mean to you? Absolutely nothing, I’m sure.

But it means a whole lot for this site.

You see, now that I’m using newer blogging software all I need to do is update the look of TMG and I’ll finally be finished with reworking the site and can get back to the business of writing again. I know, I know. You’re all excited. Try to calm down. Breath… Breath…

Hey! Put that back in your pants!

One last thing… anyone out there really, really good at CSS? I’m pretty good with it and I’ve got my new design pretty much done, but there’s a few things that have me confuzzled. I’m sure I’ll figure them out eventually, but I’m getting a bit impatient with things that just don’t work no matter what I seem to try. So, if someone out there was willing I could send them the files and they could maybe lend a brother a hand and make some suggestions…?

Hey! Hey! Get your hand out of my pants!

Better Late Than Never

• by GeekMan • In Breaking News •   4

Boy, am I ever late.

You know, I was hoping to have the new site design ready to launch today, but alas, my busy schedule and inherent laziness have once again conspired to keep me from making my grand debut.

Well, for a little bit longer, at least.

This week I plan on finishing the new layout and also upgrading my Blog tool from MT to WordPress. So, if you notice things acting a bit weird around here this week you can honestly say that it’s not you, it’s me. Now, I know some people out there have been wondering if I would ever come back, and looking through my comments (ignoring the 1,735 spam comments added in the last three months, of course) I see that many of you would have been more than happy to see me miss my self-imposed deadline and fail.

And yes, I’m looking at YOU Mr. Hentai.

But a pox upon you Mr. Hentai, and all of those others who didn’t believe I was coming back! Naysayers and disbelievers, all! Look and see, for I have not failed! I did not betray your trust! Gaze upon your screen and be awed, for lo and behold, GeekMan has come again!

Ahem.

Uh…

Stop laughing at me.

You know what I meant.

Stop… please?

No, I am not crying.

[sniff]

Dammit.

I hate you.

Another Apology

• by GeekMan • In Breaking News •   20

Sometimes life really does get in the way of my plans of world domination.

I’m not dead (yet).
I’m not taking a (planned) break.
I’m not trying to find myself/inspiration/a nice pair of slacks.
I’ve just been so fricking busy over the last three months that even HoBiscuit has forgotten what I really look like.

The sad thing is, it’s not over… yet.

However, it’s not all bad. Soon things will calm down and I’ll be able to once again regale you with my inane and idiotic stories. I’m hoping that one month from today I’ll be back and better than ever, with a new design here and even a new site or three to accommodate some of my other silly hobbies. It’s going to be a red-letter day for anyone’s diary so mark your calendars for the weekend of March 17th friends, because The Mighty Geek is coming back, baby! Bigger and better than ever!

And this time not even Bread can stop me!

A Quick Update During My Moment Of Silence

• by GeekMan • In Breaking News, Geek Life, Home Ownership, Rants •   4

My Most Awesome of Electronic Computing Devices Ever is dead.

On Sunday evening, as I was working on my computer, the screen suddenly went dark and I heard a soft popping sound. “Hmmm, that’s odd.” I thought, and looked over at the big box that sits to my immediate right thinking that my Vunder-Machine had powered down or something. That’s when I noticed the wisp of grey smoke coming from the back of the computer and the acrid stench of melting plastic.

“Huh. I wonder what that could be…?”

It took a second, but I got there eventually. At that moment the synapses in my brain began firing the way they’re supposed to and I dove for the power cord and fire extinguisher. But I was too late. Long story short, although there was no actual fire, my motherboard, graphics card and power supply are all crispy in that “fresh from the nuclear reactor” kind of way. Luckily, I keep most of my files on an external hard drive which is fine and dandy, but there are a few things I still need to get off of the internal hard drive of the computer. You know; things like my QuickBooks files and client lists.

And my pr0n.

So, although I was hoping to be posting here again by next week, that hope has been thoroughly dashed to pieces as it now seems that I will have yet another thing added to my list of Things To Do. I’ve already decided to buy two computers, one for business use and one for home/entertainment use, which hopefully will make my life a little easier in the “networking computers is easy, like teaching theoretical astrophysics to a retarded chipmunk.” kind of way.

Because I’m a glutton for punishment, that’s why.

Well, I might as well do a full update while I’m here. Wouldn’t want to disappoint my adoring fans fan. During the time that I’ve been away, HoBiscuit and I have bought another new apartment and are in the process of killing ourselves by bleeding to death from paper cuts due to all the forms we need to fill out to get a stupid mortgage for the new place. And, just in case that alone doesn’t kill us, we’re also trying to create the world’s largest ulcer, in my very own body, by attempting to sell our current place at the same time. Also, HoBiscuit and I’ve been working non-stop for months and we’re very, very tired.

Woooo, what fun.

Well, that’s all for now. I’ll be back when I can. Happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate it and remember; when life gives you lemons, kick life in the nuts and demand better service.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled silence…

The Big Apology

• by GeekMan • In Breaking News •   4

Dear Geek Minions

Due to circumstances beyond his control, GeekMan will be unable to update this site for the next few weeks. Maybe not even until after the new year. He apologizes profusely for being unable to humor you at this time and he promises to be back again as soon as possible.

Thank you.

Days Go By

• by GeekMan • In Quickie •   2

Whoo-boy, have I been busy.

The last couple of weeks have been fairly crazy for me, but now that I’m finally back to a somewhat more normal schedule my posts should ratchet back up from ‘never’ to ‘infrequent’. This announcement of my pending return to somewhat regular posting should make you smile in a way that clearly conveys to me that you’re merely humoring my delusional belief that someone out there actually cares whether I live or die. Now you should be heaving a mighty sigh of martyred resignation as you pat me on the head and tell me how much you missed me.

Go on, lie. I’m so pathetic I’ll believe you.

Anywaste, many things have happened during my absence but none of those things are very funny so I won’t bother to mention them here since doing so would probably bore you all to tears. Instead, I think I’ll just wish you all a happy Halloween and end here with the understanding that I’ll try harder to be funny tomorrow when I’m not at a clients office party dressed up as a woman’s giant, hairy naughty bit with a name tag that says; “Hi! My name is George.”

Hey, a fur coat and a pink bodysuit is so a real costume!

Crazy Days Ahead

• by GeekMan • In Breaking News •   Comments Off on Crazy Days Ahead

It’s getting’, it’s getting’, it’s getting’ kinda hectic.

Just so you don’t worry, I’m telling you now that the next couple of weeks might be a little busy for me, which means that this site might not be updated as often as it normally is. Even more important, I may not have the time to carefully craft a witty and humorous post for you until things calm down for me.

Awww… That’s sweet, but there’s no need for tears.

Now, if I were the kind of person who believed in good luck gestures I’d ask all of you to cross your fingers or something, but luckily (heh) I’m far more pragmatic than that and will simply ask that each of you send me a hundred bazillion shekels instead. No? Well, then, I guess the finger crossing will have to do.

Cheap bastards.