Catch Up

I’m so damn tired.

Some of you may have been wondering where I’ve been these last few weeks. Some of you have even sent me email to congratulate me for finally realizing how unfunny I am and deciding to let the world’s pain end by allowing this pathetic excuse for a vanity website die. Well, I’m sorry to disappoint all of you, but this site isn’t dead yet.

I’m not dead either, although I do feel tired enough to be one of the walking dead.

Why am I damn tired? Maybe because I haven’t slept in, oh… three months, and I’ve barely even seen HoBiscuit since our wedding in January? But other than lack of sleep, money, sweet lovin’ and sanity, I’m just ducky, thankyouverymuch. Now, a lot of you people out there have expressed interest in my married life, some even going so far as to email me to ask, and I’m always happy to tell those people who ask how wonderful married life is and how happy I am to be married to such a beautiful and amazingly perfect woman like HoBiscuit.

And when she leaves the room I tell them the truth.

What’s the truth? The truth is that I don’t know how married life is because I haven’t seen my wife for longer than 72 hours in a row before I’ve had to get back on an airplane to fly to yet another city for yet another job. In fact, we haven’t even had a honeymoon, and I don’t believe we’ll have one until our one year anniversary because of all the work that I’ve been getting. I don’t normally talk about work here, but even though having work is a VERY GOOD THING for a freelancer, it’s still damn tiring to work non-stop for three months without weekends or days off.

Which brings me back to you.

Over the last two months I’ve been trying to update here as often as time allowed, and I thank all of you for bearing with the sporadic updates and horrendously unfunny posts during this time, but I’m happy to say that your suffering is almost at an end. In fact, I should be back to my regular schedule in just a couple of weeks, and to kick off my grand return to comedic normality I think I might have another contest to celebrate. The rules will be supplied at the end of this week and the winner will receive a prize so coveted and wondrous that people usually pay me huge sums of cash-moolah to provide it to them. Huh? No, no, no! Not that you sicko! I told you I don’t do that anymore. Not since the whole ‘green rash’ incident, I don’t.

How much? Hmmm… we’ll talk later. Privately.

Anywaste, what I’m talking about here is a website designed by yours truly. Something truly spunktacular and groovy made just for you. I’ll tell you all about the contest later this week, but for now I need to get ready for my next work related aneurism, which will be inflicted upon me this Saturday by the double whammy of Solonor and The House of Mouse. Yeah that’s right; I’m going back down to Orlando for some Bad Ass.

What?! I’m talking about coffee you freak, not Solonor!