Ask Bread 04

It’s Friday, and that means it’s time for Ask Bread!

Luanne, another anonymous idiot, asks;

Dear Bread,
Why doesn’t this site get updated every day like other sites? Sometime’s days go by without anything new. I bet you’d be more popular if you wrote every day, especially about your grandpa. He’s funny.
Luanne

Luanne,
I will only use small words because you must be an idiot. No one with a brain reads this site. No one. If you like to read GeekMan’s stupid words, and actually check every day for new stories, then you either ride the short bus or should be riding it. No matter what he does GeekMan will never, ever, be popular, even if he only wrote about his grandpa’s funniest bowel movements from now until doomsday. So why don’t you go to the doctor, get a new brain and get yourself a real fricking life, ok? Loser.

HoBiscuit, GeekMan’s ‘fictional’ wife, wrote;

Lazy Bastard,
Did you clean the house yet? Did you do the laundry like I asked? If you’re Blogging instead of doing what I told you to do again then you’re a dead man. And don’t forget to hang dry my bras. If you turn them pink again I’ll kill you.
Love,
HoBiscuit

Dearest Love of GeekMan’s Life,
No. No. Sharpen your knives. He forgot. I hope you like tie-dye underwear.

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And there you have it, another wonderful installment of Ask Bread! If you’ve got a question for Bread send an email with the subject “The Mighty Question” to: bread at the mighty geek dot com. You can ask him anything, anything at all, and he promises to give you the answer you deserve. And ladies, he’s still waiting for you to send in that picture you have of yourself covered in melted butter, so don’t delay and send it today. Huh? What? What?! You mean to tell me that you don’t have a picture of yourself covered in melted butter to send to Bread?

Well, what are you waiting for? An invitation?