That is, if you’re The Mighty Geek.
I’m going to visit my in-laws for the Thanksgiving holiday weekend and we all know that can mean only one thing. No, not eating so much turkey, stuffing and cranberry sauce that my bellybutton goes from an ‘innie’ to an ‘outtie’. Nor does it mean that I’ll get to sit in front of the TV all day watching football and screaming at the kids to shut up or I’ll beat them with the buckle side of my belt until their bottoms are so raw they won’t be able to sit down until their kids graduate college…
Stupid, repressed, childhood memories…
Anywaste, what Thanksgiving means to me, and to most other Americans, is Christmas. That’s right, Christmas. It’s not until Thanksgiving that most Americans begin thinking of all the money they’re going to have to spend on presents for friends and family members, most of whom they don’t even really like. And once we start thinking of all that money being sucked out of our bank accounts, we panic. We panic because we’ve been conditioned to show our love and affection for children by bestowing upon them gifts. Not just any gifts either, we’re talking bigger, better, cooler and more enviable gifts than the bratty kids down the block who always seem to get the best toys and then rub it in all the other kids’ faces at school.
And we hateses those kiddies, don’t we Gollum?
So, I’ll be spending this Turkey Day with my new family in Ann Arbor, playing with the kids, eating “home cooked” meals that are actually prepared in a home and not just regular restaurant food that’s called home cooked as a marketing strategy. Then, on Friday, a day that I learned only last night is known as ‘BLACK FRIDAY’, I shall be dragged from my inflatable bed in the guest hallway of my in-law’s home at 4:30am to go shopping. Having never done this before in my life, you cannot possibly imagine my excitement in anticipation of hour upon grueling hour of madhouse shopping in the crowded malls of the suburbs of America. Oh, and hey, if I’m not here on Monday, it’s not because I don’t love you guys.
It’s because I’m in jail for mass murder.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Happy Thanksgiving, dood! And extra happy to Mrs. Dood.
that’s right you are always in BED when your mother calls you from the stores to let you know what they have and she picks up the goods for you…. I hope you get trampled…
that’s right princess he already sent me his list by email in case I can’t get him on his cell phone.
oh man, I am so sorry about your obligation on Black Friday. I’m getting as far away as I can from the retail madness…
But, Happy Turkey Day, regardless! :)
Oh man, Black Friday. Just try to survive, GeekMan, that’s all you can do.
This is the first time in five years I haven’t had a retail job on Black Friday, so I’ll be sitting at home in my nice warm apartment thinking about all you poor saps that are going out in that madness. (That or possibly sobbing in the corner because I have no money and wouldn’t actually mind having a retail job that I would have to get to by 5am tomorrow morning.)
PS: Hi GeekMan! Long time no see!
mmmm… Soma..
(Flatulance)
Nice to see the spambots still around. Not the normal Russian mailorder bride and pornstar offers that invaded FISHMAN’s site a while back.