It’s The Little Things

• by GeekMan • In Geek Life, Wedding •   4

Conversation in the tux rental shop.

Tux Guy:
“OK sir, we’ll just need a few more measurements and we’ll be all finished. Teresa here will take those measurements for you.”

Grandpa:
“Hey! Just what do you think you’re doing down there, girlie?”

Teresa:
[blushing furiously]
“Well sir, I need to measure your inseam…”

Grandpa:
“Oh. Well, as long as you’re down there, would you mind jingling my bells a little? It’s been a long time since my wife touched me there and I want to make sure they still work.”

Teresa:
[embarrassed and flustered]
“Sir!”

Grandma:
“Tell you what girl, if you can find them I’ll give you a hundred bucks.”

Tux Guy & Teresa:
“Hahahahahahaha!”

Grandpa:
“GeekMan, what are you doing?”

GeekMan:
“Quiet! I’m using my latent psychic abilities to will myself to die of embarrassment.”

I have no idea why they all found that so funny. Bastards.

4 Comments

  1. You might consider a grandparent loaner program. It would work two ways:

    1. People can rent your grandparents when they want to be publicly humiliated in the funniest way possible. And when they want an old steak.

    2. You can rent a more behaviorally appropriate set of grandparents for the actual day of your wedding.

  2. i have yet to find a phrase that, given the right context, can’t be substituted for a man’s genitals. that being said, “jingling my bells” is a fun new spin on a holiday classic.

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