Thank god for global warming.
I love the heat of summer more than any other season. To me, Summer is the best time to be alive and NYC is the best place to be. It’s hot, muggy, sweaty and disgusting. The air holds you in its simmering grip like a fire giant’s fist, squeezing you so tightly that you can barely breathe. Even blinking can cause a person to break out in a sweat that drenches them from head to toe.
Even peoples knuckles sweat.
Some people prefer the cool, crisp and colorful season of Autumn. Or perhaps they enjoy the newfound vitality and freshness of Spring. For some crazy reason, a few people even like the cold, dark yet holiday-filled Winter season. Now, I’m not saying these seasons don’t have some redeeming qualities, but the truth of the matter is that Summer can kick all the other season’s asses while eating a breakfast burrito and with one hand tied behind its back.
If I had to describe Summer in three words I’d say: “Fan-frigging-tastic.”
You might be asking yourself what could possibly be so infatuating about Summer that it would make me go on about it like this? Could I be recalling fond memories of my youthful days at summer camp? Do I wish to recapture my long gone childhood by playing a game of Rooftop Manhunt or Full Contact Street Football? Am I suffering from heatstroke? Have I finally gone bonkers?
Or maybe you think I’m just a moron who likes to sweat.
Well, no. Actually, I hate it when I sweat. Makes my underwear bunch up, you see. And don’t get me started on the whole sticking-to-the-plastic-covered-furniture thing. I still have nightmares of the time I spent six hours stuck to my Aunt’s couch in her air-conditioner-less apartment.
I still wet myself every time I hear someone rub two balloons together.
The truth of the matter is that the real reason why I like Summer so much is pretty simple. It can be summed up in five words that will have every man nodding in agreement and every woman gasping in shocked amazement. You want to know the reason why I think Summer rocks? Well then, here it is.
Tube tops and mini skirts.
That’s right, I said it. Tube tops and mini skirts. You all know I’m right. Forget Autumn’s changing leaves and Winter’s wonderland of white snow. Spring? HA! Spring’s got nothing on Summer’s heat and humidity. And, as we all know, it’s only when it’s hot and humid that women are willing to go outside with no bra and a white, nearly-transparent, show-off-your-newly-pierced-belly-button shirt.
Oh yeah, the men are with me on this one.
I don’t know about you other guys, but I spend nine months of the year standing on my front porch spraying hairspray into the air in the hopes of making the hole in the ozone just a little bit larger. Every year I hear about global warming on the news and I pray that the scientists of the world never fix it. Every September, I hope that Summer might last just a few days longer. That I’ll get just a few more days of seeing women in Daisy Duke’s and high heels leaning against a Mr. Softie ice cream truck. That I’ll have another hour to watch sweaty girls in stretchy tube-tops step into an air-conditioned store and literally poke holes in their shirts. That my eyes will have just one more minute to savor the sight of a woman in a restaurant holding a glass of ice water to her forehead and rub an ice cube on her neck.
Damn, I really, really, REALLY love Summer.
I think you’d better take a cold shower before staring at mini skirts and tank tops again. A friendly advice from your cardio-nician.
I’m not shocked; girls like to look too you know. But, I have to admit, tube tops don’t do it for me. I like a low-cut blouse, heels and a short skirt.
What you need is a hot girlfriend. That way you can stare at them all year long.
ServMe – Cold showers are bad for men. Creates shrinkage, don’t you know. Can’t be Mighty when MiniGeek is making like a frightened turtle.
Tiffany – Blouses are really nice, too. But it’s not often that a girl will go bra-less when wearing a frilly top. For some reason, my research suggests that going bra-less when wearing a nearly transparent tube-top is acceptable whereas wearing no bra and a nearly transparent blouse is not.
Jeff – I already HAVE a hot girlfriend. Or, at least I did before I posted this little story. Sigh, I’ve got to learn to keep my stupid mouth shut sometimes…
Geekman, don’t you know about the power of JLo? She started the whole trend of not wearing the bra with any type of top and now all self-respecting women complain that disrespectable women are going around without wearing them!
What you have to do, if you like the protrusions given by nature, is to find a girl who’ll show them to you in the privacy of your own home. Maybe she’ll wear a tube top for you too. (I still hate those things, they always slip on me.)
too funny! btw … tube tops looked silly in the 70s and they look even sillier today … especially, when the woman who wears one *really* shouldn’t
That is a good point. After seeing a girl who in no humanly way should be able to get into a tube top, your eyes could become scared and the sight of a tube top could give you nightmares from that moment on.
I too love summer!
this is really a great story,
it means a lot to me. after read it, i got an idea of life, and i changed my favorite season too.
thanke a lot.
summer is nice. but clothes should not come much between us and summer. all depends on attitude.
I think that the author of this article is my long-lost identical twin brother!! I love summer for the exact same reason! I hate winter with a vengeance, because, let’s see… I have an outdoor job, I have to wear 5 or 6 layers, takes 10 minutes or more to dress for work, my nose runs, if we have an ice storm I lose pay due to bad roads and not being able to go in,on weekends it’s too cold to do anything except stay inside, it’s easy to get sick in winter, half my co-workers are out sick and my back is breaking at work, can’t sit in the backyard and read a book, it’s too cold to go for a stroll around the lake, which is a good place to see babes in tube tops, if the season is right, winter absolutely sucks ass!!! In fact, I hate any kind of weather where I have to wear more than jeans and a t-shirt. As far as global warming, and spraying hair spray into the air to make tube top season last longer, I’ll go you one better: if I were a galactic titan, I would push the earth through the winter orbit, so that we would only have spring, summer and fall!!! Tube tops can be seen in any of these seasons, although mainly in summer. But are tube tops all that does it for you? What about a really sexy halter top and tight jeans? A halter shows off a girl’s back a little better than a tube top, and a really sexy bare back absolutely destroys me!!! And I hate winter, because you can’t see that in the winter!! But alas, perhaps we should just accept winter and deal with it, because any attempt to warm the planet unnaturally could result in Waterworld: everyone would drown, including hotties who wear tube tops in the summer!!
I have a buddy that I go clubbing with in the summer, but he goes year-round, whereas I only go in the summer, when bare skin abounds. There is a cover at the club, and going to the club in winter is like paying to see a movie and going in and staring at a blank screen. Why pay money when what you want to see is not there?
I work at an airport. In summer, up at the terminals, gorgeous girls in tube tops and halters are
everywhere!!! Enough to give a guy
whiplash!! As I previously stated,
I hate winter with a passion, but perhaps winter is good, in that the
bleak, cold, dreariness of winter makes that first tube top of spring
all the more special? If you dig hot babes in tube tops, go to an airport on a really hot day in the summer. Park for a couple of hours
and go hang out in a terminal. Invest in a $10 pair of teardrop, mirror-lens highway patrol sunglasses; mine have served me well in this exact environment for this exact purpose, only I work at an airport, so I don’t have to pay to park! Additionally, other excellent places to see gorgeous babes in tube tops are nightclubs, as well as concerts by bands such as Motley Crue, Poison, Cinderella,
Ozzy, to name a few. And always keep those shades handy! Get together with some buddies and be the shade brigade!!!
Spring is almost upon us!
Good Hunting!!
i love winter!!!!!!
i love winter!!!!!!
Wow! all that just killed some time, interesting! I gotta say, spring is it for me, but I love summer too! I can’t wait to lay in the sun and sweat. Take a dip in the pool and go for walks and bike rides and have a nice cool drink in the hot sun. Oh yes, there is nothing like it! Winters been looming too long this year! Can’t wait for the heat! Not to mention, its less work, less laundry to clean and the floors stay cleaner far longer. Anyways, We really shouldn’t rush life, it goes fast enough on its own! Make the most of it and ENJOY IT!
I have to agree with the TUBE TOPS and MINI SKIRTS. Cute and slutty at the same time. A nice tan hottie with a little slit skirt on her cute ass and a decent tan, and oh, a nice tight choker to match as well! Why not?
These girls deserve to be who they are and so when I am not dressing my girlfriend up in this outfit, I am probably punching the clown to pictures of some other chic dressed the same way. I have even let my girl and her best friend, also a hottie, do a little teasing dance for me as they flirt with each other and kiss (they havent actually done it yet but they will) as both chics are dressed this way, and I just get off watching them and they seem to like it.