Overheard elevator conversation of the day. Not embellished in the slightest and it was so funny I nearly died.
*elevator doors open and we find a boy and a girl having a discussion. GeekMan enters*
Girl: “Well, one time I accidentally put a staple through my finger.”
Boy: “Really?”
Girl: “Uh-huh. I was really young and thought staples only worked on paper. You know, like kiddy-scissors? And I wanted to know how the staples came out of the thing, so…”
Boy: “So, you stapled your finger?”
Girl: “Mmmm-hmmm. Right through the nail.”
Boy: “Day-uhm! That must have hurt.”
Girl: “Like you never did anything stupid as a kid.”
Boy: “…”
Girl: “What?”
Boy: “When I was a kid I thought it would be really funny if my sister tried to go to the bathroom and couldn’t get her underwear off, so I snuck up behind her and…”
*staple motion*
Girl: “No! You didn’t!”
Boy: “Yep. In my defense, I honestly didn’t think it would hurt her. I just wanted to staple them to her butt and laugh when she tried to go pee. I think it was one of those drywall staplers, too.”
*laughter*
Girl: “You know…”
Boy: “Yeah, I know. I should have crazy glued them to her ass!”
*intense, maniacal laughter*
*girl farts loudly*
*intense, embarrassed, maniacal laughter*
*girl farts again*
*elevator dings for GeekMan’s stop. He gets off, turns around and speaks*
GeekMan: “You know, if you keep farting like that someone’s liable to staple your ass shut.”
*boy falls to elevator floor in convulsions, girls face turns redder than the sun and the elevator doors close*
Day-uhm, but that was funny.
You evil bastard. I’d marry you if we weren’t both spoken for.
Peeing my pants. Well, you’ll probably laught about that too.
I almost had a stroke when I read this… Headline, “Geekman reader dies after reading ass stapling, elevator fart story”.
oh my HILLARIOUS
*snort* that was hilarious!
BWAHAHAHAHA
What a wonderful post to have for a first time visitor. Hilarous!
People at work are coming into my office, wondering why there are tears in my eyes. Now I have to mumble something about workish stuff, and refrain from stroking my stapler with a glint in my eye.
Geekman.. *tries ta catch breath* lol..
I’m glad I’m NOT reading this at work!
GeekMan, you are my new hero.
That was great! Butts are funny stuff, and when you add staplers and farts to the mix… well then you have yourself a comedic shake! Booyah! Farts make the kiddies giggle!
hehehehehe
that was pretty harsh
OH MY GOD!!!! I’m laughing so hard I have tears in my eyes! My cat is just looking at me. I think she is wondering if she should call 911 because I can’t breath. Or maybe she’s thinking she will eat me when I die so that she doesn’t starve to death. Cats are scary like that.
semseeennne wenna sense